Professional mixologists refer to my favourite cocktail as “one bottle of wine”.
June 2012
“For the first 10 years of our marriage, Barack and I lived in an apartment in my hometown of Chicago. The winters there can be pretty harsh, but no matter how snowy or icy it got, Barack would head out into the cold — shovel in hand — to dig my car out before I went to work.”
—Michelle Obama’s latest e-mail to campaign supporters reminds us of what a sweetie Barack Obama is.
Great Movie Quotes
- “Thank you so much for believing in my weirdness!” - Katy Perry, Part Of Me
- “There’s no music, though. It’s all in my head. It’s all in my heart actually.” - Katy Perry, Part Of Me
- “If you’ve got a dream, you’ve got to go on a journey to pursue that dream.” - Katy Perry, Part Of Me
- “Songwriting and making these records is kind of like the truth of who I am - what makes me laugh, what makes me cry. It’s like a mad diary!” - Leonard Cohen (JK! Katy Perry, Part Of Me)
That thing where a Romanian parking attendant asks you for your number and you get flustered, because why is this Romanian boy talking to you in the first place and, oh my God, did you just say yes when he asked you for your number and you really are so easily flustered sometimes and, yes, there it is - you’re giving him your friend’s number instead.
“I’ll text you!” he shouts.
“Great!” you reply, resigned to the fact that you will never be able to frequent the area again.
Well since I don't know how you look, it will be very difficult to do that, but if you're able to provide photos of your body, (nudes preferably but bikini pics will suffice) it'll make it easier to imagine that. =P
Jesus Christ.
Malibu
Hole
Hole - Malibu
Once upon a time (last week), I had a handful of Pringles (can of Pringles) and a slice of ham (more Pringles) for dinner.
Ever do that thing where you’re walking down a street and you realise halfway that you’re going the wrong way? But because you’re too embarrassed to turn around and be perceived by your fellow pedestrians as lost or directionless, you just continue down the wrong path and instead take a longer route, thus making life harder for yourself? You do? Samesies!
“It’s like a velvet blanket covered in diamonds.”
—You better believe that Julianne Hough’s character in Rock of Ages compares the city of Los Angeles to a velvet blanket. It’s a beautiful, lyrical simile and just one of the many reasons you should pay money to see this garbage movie.
"You've gone viral!" - fun medical diagnosis.
Call My Name
Cheryl Cole
Cheryl - Call My Name
Fully aware that is just a second-rate We Found Love, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t dance like a maniac to it last night.
- Friend: I'm sick of Lana Del Rey.
- Me: She's like the human equivalent of a tattoo that romanticizes the idea of dying young.
“What is life but a long series of days spent trying to decide what skirt has the least visible stain on it? I’m just going to leave you all to ruminate on that for a few.”
- Amy O’Connor, philosopher
Phone Sex
Blood Diamonds (feat. Grimes)
Blood Diamonds feat. Grimes - Phone Sex
I just dyed my hair and this was the perfect musical accompaniment. Also, I got some bleach on my arm and it turned ghostly white for a while and I was like, “Oh, is this what Michael Jackson did? Will I need to wear long sleeves forever?” Then its natural pallor was restored and I apologised to Michael Jackson for making an off-colour joke. Haha, no I didn’t! That was just an excuse to use the phrase “off-colour”, which is funny in this context!
Anyway, I digress. This song is really great and you should listen to it.
“The band name is a portmanteau of “jam session” and “iroquai”, based on the Iroquois, a Native American tribe.”
- The worst sentence I have ever read with my eyes, courtesy of Jamiroquai’s Wikipedia.
What am I doing? Oh, just fantasising about what Halston's Instagram would have been like. You?
Teenage Love
Magic Wands
Magic Wands - Teenage Love
Today, while I was on the bus, a woman and her little boy sat next to me. I typically avoid interacting with children, because I am not good at it and it’s just awkward for everyone. Anyway, this little boy was very laid-back and chill, and he was playing with my hair for a few minutes before I decided that maybe I should acknowledge him. So, I smiled at him and he smiled at me, too. Then the mother started smiling, too. We were all smiling! But then it got weird, so I tried to make conversation.
“How old is he?” I asked.
“Three,” she replied, beaming.
“That’s a great age,” I replied.
“That’s a great age.” I said this sentence aloud! I am nineteen! I have no children and have had only limited experience with them! And here I am telling strangers that three is a great age. Who am I to say if it’s a good age? You know what seems like a good age? Forty-six. Three seems like a nightmare.
Have you heard Charli XCX's mixtape??
I’m actually listening to it right now! And I am well and truly obsessed. Any mixtape that features excerpts from Cruel Intentions and The Craft is grade-A in my book.
(Download the mixtape “Heartbreaks and Earthquakes” here. And if you haven’t yet heard of Charlie XCX, you will soon.)
Anything We Want
Fiona Apple - Anything We Want
God bless Fiona Apple.
Real talk: whenever I catch a stranger on the street looking at me, I just assume it’s a fashion blogger who is trying to pluck up the courage to ask if they can take my picture for their street style blog. Unrelated: I have no ego whatsoever.
What if the awards were just bronze busts of Tony Shalhoub and Tony Danza?
